Wedding Drinking Game

As previously blogged, I’m generally not a fan of weddings, but I have to go to one in a few weeks (thereby missing out on FREE TICKETS to an Underworld gig – fume!).  In an attempt to liven up proceedings I’ve made up a game to keep me amused.  Feel free to borrow it next time you find yourself stuck at a dull wedding.

There are several playing options – depending on how much you want to drink.

Option 1 – maximum drinking

Every time one of the below happens – take a swig.  Presumably you won’t have a drink in your hand when you’re in the church etc, so just make a mental note to drink later.  This may mean immediately necking three glasses as soon as alcohol is offered to you.  I told you this game would liven things up.


Option 2 – not so much, but still potentially quite a lot of drinking

Challenge your plus one.  First to spot that something has happened gets to make the other one drink.  You might need to agree a code beforehand, rather than just shouting out “Chubby arms!” for example.


Option 3 – no drinking

For teetotallers (this usually includes me, but weddings generally drive me to drink) score the points listed below and compare scores with your plus one.

Take a drink / score points when:

1.  Someone describes the bride as “stunning” – score 5 points

2. The bride is wearing a sleeveless dress despite having chubby arms – score 5 points*

3.  The person officiating mispronounces the bride or groom’s name – score 15 points

4A.  In church, the congregation completely murders the hymn – score 10 points

4B.  In registry office – there is a problem with the sound system and the music either starts way too loud or way too quiet and has to be cranked up/down or there’s a long pause where it doesn’t start at all – score 10 points

5.  You see or hear someone who has dressed completely inappropriately for the weather conditions complaining / shivering / holding hat in place in high winds / struggling in high heels in grass – score 5 points.  If it’s a man – score 20 points

6.  Guests’ wedding outfit sweepstake – fascinator (mini-hat) – 1 point, pashmina (shawl) – 2 points, bolero (jacket where it looks like someone has cut off bottom half) – 3 points, cummerbund (male tummy sash) – 4 points, someone wearing a white or black dress (faux pas) – 5 points (all per garment)

7.  You spot two or more guests in the same outfit (bridesmaids don’t count) – 10 points

8. At least 80% of the confetti goes nowhere near the couple, due to high winds and / or ineffective throwing action from guests – 5 points

9.  You hear the photographer call someone “my love” or similar when instructing them in how to pose – 5 points

10.  You have white wine and red wine on the table and the white wine gets drunk first – score 5 points

11. The main course is chicken – score 5 points

12. An elderly guest is surprised that the wedding cake is not a fruit cake – score 10 points

13. The best man describes the bride as “a lovely girl” – score 10 points

14. Crying sweepstake – mother of the bride or groom – 1 point, bride – 2 points, random female guest – 3 points, bridesmaid – 4 points, groom – 5 points, father of the bride or groom – 6 points, random male guest – 7 points, best man / usher – 8 points.

15. Someone says “It’ll be your turn one day” or similar to a single person or asks an umarried couple whether they are planning to marry – score 10 points.

16. Someone tells you an anecdote about something how disaster nearly struck this wedding (NB “disaster” usually means e.g. the florist didn’t have the correct flowers) – score 10 points

17.  Someone tells you how much an aspect of the wedding cost, even though you didn’t ask – score 10 points

18.  Someone reminisces about their own wedding / talks about their own future wedding plans – score 3 points

19.  You see someone aged over 50 dancing with someone aged under 10 – score 5 points.

20. You see a woman wearing her partner’s suit jacket towards the end of the evening – score 5 points.

Wedding mania

*Then deduct 100 points for thinking, even to yourself, that the bride has chubby arms.  How dare you?  She’s stunning!