Piano Lessons

Points of order from my third piano lesson:

I have no rhythm.

Despite this, I have made good progress at Happy Birthday and Livin on a Prayer.  Now I’m practising Someone Like You by Adele.  Quite the repertoire.

My piano teacher cannot pronounce Adele, which means I look at him blankly and he thinks I haven’t heard of the woman who’s been No 1 for most of the year.

My hands are too small.

My piano teacher has an audition for a Dire Straits tribute band this weekend.

30 Things – Unicycling

I’ve left unicycling to the last minute so I now just have 10 weeks to master it before I go away.  Desperate times call for special trips to Nottingham for unicycling masterclasses with my friend Jo.  The unicycling book basically says first of all just sit on it and find your balance and to do this for days and days.  Then you can progress to stepping off, for more days and days, before you even try rolling along next to a wall.  Expectations duly managed, we went out to the backgarden and started putting in the first of the many hours that this is going to take.  Click below to see my progress throughout the day.  Hint – it wasn’t much.


Just to show that I am fair, I have to admit that I had a “SouthernWatch” moment the other day and am ashamed to say that it came from someone from Croydon, which is where I am from, who was displaying what I call “Yorkshire attitude“.  

Celebrity hairdresser James Brown was on TV saying that who would have thought a young lad from Croydon could have risen to the top of his profession as session stylist to the stars. 

Oh for goodness sake!  Everyone’s from somewhere, and hairdressing’s hardly known for being an elitist profession where it helps to have been born with a silver spoon in your mouth.  Also, enough people already seem to have the idea that Croydon is a shithole without celebrity Croydonians pretending that they managed to haul themselves out of some kind of ghetto.

NorthernWatch 5 / Breakfast Television – Gah!!

I had a genuine breakfast TV “GAHHH!!!!” moment this morning when this week’s fired Apprentice was being interviewed.  The first thing he said was that he was from Liverpool so he didn’t know London that well and that’s why he failed at the task.  This made me GAHHHHH!!! more vociferously than this comment in isolation would have justified, but I’d watched him on the Apprentice – You’re Fired programme last night, when he was also constantly banging on about being from Liverpool (and not just being from Liverpool but also “representin” – like some West Coast rapper).  And this morning he was at it again: very first question, mentioning that he’s from Liverpool.

Here he is being interviewed for the Telegraph and, what do you know, he’s so proud about being from Liverpool, but it also proved his downfall as he failed to appreciate that London was bigger than Liverpool.

Hmm…proud of being from Liverpool, but also using it as an excuse for your failures.   Sounds about right.  At least he didn’t win, so we didn’t have to put up with the standard “It just goes to show that people from Liverpool can succeed...” as if he has single-handedly confounded low expectations that nobody actually has, except in his imagination.