LancashireWatch

A LancashireWatch rather than a YorkshireWatch, but other than that this article is the absolute archetypal example of exactly the kind of thing that pisses me off.

‘A Lancastrian myself, I have spent over ten years living in London, working in media-luvvie-land. My accent may be warped as a result, but the beliefs remain the same. And events like Duffygate bring back all those Northern axioms on which I was raised: “Be straight with people. Be honest. Don’t say anything that you wouldn’t say to someone’s face.” ‘

Seriously can you imagine anyone writing:

I was born and raised in London, but I’ve moved to ‘t land of hot pots, whippets and flat caps.  I’m even starting to talk funny, by ‘eck!  But I haven’t forgotten the decent Southern values with which I was brought up.  “Be kind.  Don’t be rude to people.  If you can’t think of something nice to say then keep your mouth shut.”

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Eric the Imposter

Percy Pigs – a national institution, a national treasure, confectionery of the Gods.  An ex-pat friend of mine recently got married and I took her some as a wedding present (I got her some other stuff as well – I’m not that cheap).

Imagine my horror when I was browsing round Sainsburys the other day and saw “Eric the Elephant” sweets.  On seeing the packaging, I immediately thought – this is Sainsbury’s answer to Percy Pigs, fair enough.  But then I saw the actual sweets.

Eric the Elephant

Good old Percy

For shame, Sainsburys, for shame!

We have done a blind taste test and can confirm that Eric is rather tougher than Percy, but still pretty tasty to be fair.

“Lifestyle Event” ??

I got an email from “Boutique runs” which is “a new lifestyle event aimed exclusively at women and would like to invite you to join us for a girls’ night out with a difference…a scenic run in the park followed by entertainment and pampering*! We’re talking free champagne, hot showers, massage, fabulous after party and our special ‘Bouti’ bag full of goodies!”

I’m surprised that this kind of “girl’s night out” thing attached to a running event has a wide enough target market.  It puts me off completely.  But clearly they’re are plenty of women who are not put off, because there is also “Fit for a Princess” who are always at the London Santa Run and offer (probably very good) outdoor fitness sessions to women (many of whom would no doubt have me eating their dust in a 10k), but have opted for the type of branding that is usually reserved for 3 to 7 year old girls.

Maybe I’ll adopt the same approach – “Legal Advice fit for a Princess”, all our correspondence would be on pink paper, and we’d answer the phone “How can I help your majesty?”

* I like this word “pampering”.  I guess it’s meant to mean facials or manicures or similar, but it just makes me picture women in adult sized nappies.**

**Apologies in advance for disappointing anyone led to this blog after googling “women in adult sized nappies”.

Run to Work – the Illustrated Edition

Another sunny morning, perfect for a run to work – we’ve been absolutely spoilt over the past couple of weeks.  As a way of getting a cheeky breather every kilometre, here are some photos taken at 1 kilometre intervals along the route:

1k – Greenwich Park

2k – St Alphege’s Church

3k – Onto the Thames Path – Canary Wharf in the distance

4k – A little park, plus Mr Beet’s nipples for some added interest

5k – Back to the riverside – some art (“the Circumsphere”) and Canary Wharf a little bit closer

6k – Greenland Dock and Canary Wharf yet again

7k – Canada Water…and collapse….

Now, I don’t tend to appreciate it at the time I’m running, because I’m too busy huffing and puffing like Ivor the Engine, but I think that’s as commutes go, this one is beautiful.  I’m sure my natural laziness will reassert itself in due course, but it will be a shame when the route and the weather are this good.