Sometimes the inside of the BeetBrain is a strange place to be. Especially when my mind tries to distract itself from some monotonous physical activity like a long run or, in this case, climbing the Pinnacles.
The guidebook says that to complete the climbing section of the Pinnacles you need to “unleash your inner gymnast”. So when faced with a tough bit, I would say to myself “Inner gymnast – UNLEASHED!” in the style of He-Man invoking the Power of Greyskull. After a while though, I started thinking about this too much. I used to do acrobatics classes, so technically I have an “outer gymnast” and I don’t see how being able to do a pretty solid handstand is going to help me here. After all, I’m not going to cartwheel my way to the summit.
So I re-leash my inner gymnast and instead create a more helpful alter ego. I imagine that I am Goat Girl, a superhero with the powers of a mountain goat. I have plenty of time on the precarious descent to flesh out my character.
Name: Goat Girl (I considered Super Nanny, but I understand that’s already taken)
Back story: Goatherd bitten by a radioactive goat at an impressionable age develops superpowers.
Superpowers:
1. Superhuman surefootedness
2. A good head for heights
3. A strong back-kick (this doesn’t help me on the climb, but if I’m going to be a superhero then I will need to more than just climb stuff. I’ll need to fight crime and whatnot)
Costume: Fairly subtle so as to blend in with normal people; just a mohair jumper and a necklace with a charm in the shape of a bell. The bell charm may or may not have magical properties, I haven’t decided yet. Or it might not be magic, but have some cool Batman-like technology like it is actually a GPS or a distress beacon or something.
Theme Tune:
Da-da, da-da, da-da-da, da-da, Goat Girl!
Da-da, da-da, da-da-da, da-da, Goat Girl!
Da-da, da-da, da-da-da, da-da, Goat Girl – the girl who’s like a goat!
Nemesis: Jamaican chefs
Can we expect a similarly informative and entertaining update from your heroic sidekick, or is it da-da da-da etc Goat Girl and… Colin? x
I am Boar Boy. I haven’t really fleshed out my character yet but I have a theme tune…
da der da der da der da der Boar Boy,
da der da der da der da der Boar Boy,
da der da der da der da der Boar Boy, Boar Boy, Boar Boy…BOAR BOY!
Much better!